Consumer Regret: Identity Under the Taurus/Scorpio Nodes
I’ve held so many items in my hands and declared “this is it.”
“This is what makes me a new person.”
It might be a metaphysical tool, a beautiful crystal or a new tarot deck.
It might be cosmetic, an eyeshadow palette or a new dress.
But each and every one of these items now sits in my tiny New York apartment. Some see fairly regular use but many don’t have a designated space, simply moved from surface to surface as I attempt to navigate my daily life in the space between. And now, as I pack my life into boxes and prepare to re-root myself hundreds of miles from the home I’ve made, I can hardly contain my anger and regret.
Because of course the truth is none of these objects changed me. Aside from a rush of temporary joy or even just momentary convenience, all that changed was the space available in my home. If anything, the accumulation of things made my life worse — it drained my bank accounts, it made my living space smaller, and it brought tension to my relationship.
In a way I suppose these things did change who I am.
By allowing physical objects to define me, my identity became that of a messy, chaotic person. My surroundings were too cluttered to keep up…